Your dealer is a moron. If they refuse to do the idle bump, put in a case with Nissan USA stating what you want and why and they will have the dealership bump the idle for you. I'd suggest something like 725-750rpm, 800 may be a little high.
Now for the programmer (and yes they are programmers and not just simple chips since they are not permiently installed), just choose whichever fits your likings the most. You have SuperChips, BullyDog and I think another. If you want a full tuner (not a simple hand programmer) then UpRev (Cipher/Osirus) is your only option.
Just an FYI, Handhelds can handle a simple intake and exhaust but once you start with LTs and HF CATs, handhelds can't keep up and will still throw a CEL. UpRev will be your only option at that point.