66 Murhpy's Laws Of Combat

[USAFANG67]

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you. .
2. Incoming fire has the right of way. .
3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire. .
4. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't
work. .
5. The problem with the easy way out is that it
has already been mined. .
6. Try to look unimportant, the enemy may be low
on ammo. .
7. Veterans are predictable, it's the
replacements that are dangerous. .
8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
a. when you're ready for them. b. when you're not
ready for them. .
9. Teamwork is essential, it gives the enemy
someone else to shoot at. .
10. If you can't remember, then the claymore
anti-personnel mine IS pointed at you. .
11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring
will be the main attack. .
12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of
telling you to slow down. .
13. If your attack is going well, then it's an
ambush. .
14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around
you. .
15. Anything you do can get you shot, including
nothing. .
16. If you build yourself a bunker that's tough
for the enemy to get into quickly, then you won't
be able to get out of it quickly either. . .
17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than
yourself. .
18. If you're short of everything but the enemy,
you're in combat. .
19. When you've secured the area, don't forget to
tell the enemy. .
20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the
lowest bidder. .
21. Friendly fire isn't. .
22. If the platoon Sergeant can see you, so can
the enemy. .
23. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when
you can lie down, never stay awake when you can
sleep. .
24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a
Second Lieutenant with a map and a compass. .
25. There is no such thing as an atheist in a
foxhole. .
26. A grenade with a seven second fuse will
always burn down in four seconds. .
27. Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just
regrouping for a counter- attack. .
28. If at first you don't succeed call in an
air-strike. .
29. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the
battle plan. .
30. Success occurs when no one is looking,
failure occurs when the General is watching. .
31. The enemy never watches until you make a
mistake. .
32. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is
entirely too many. .
33. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet
for mud and rain.
34. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never
miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit
the broad side of a barn. .
35. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will
have to send it away to be repaired. .
36. Field experience is something you don't get
until just after you need it. .
37. Interchangeable parts aren't. .
38. No matter which way you have to march, its
always uphill. .
39. There is no such thing as military
'intelligence' .
40. For every action, there is an equal and
opposite criticism. (in boot camp) .
41. The one item you need is always in short
supply. .
42. The worse the weather, the more you are
required to be out in it. .
43. The complexity of a weapon is inversely
proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
.
44. Airstrikes always overshoot the target,
artillery always falls short. .
45. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you
just wrote down, the most im- portant ones are
always illegible. .
46. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not
end up killed or wounded. .
47. The tough part about being an officer is that
the troops don't know what they want, but they
know for certain what they DON'T want. .
48. To steal information from a person is called
plagarism. To steal informa- tion from the enemy
is called gathering intelligence. .
49. The weapon that always jams when you need it
the most is the M60. .
50. The perfect officer for the job will transfer
in the day after that billet is filled by some
unqualified idiot. .
51. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the
emeny takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low
on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack
that night. .
52. The newest and least experienced soldier will
usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor. .
53. A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were
you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid
enough to try it, and luck enough to survive. .
54. The enemy never monitors your radio traffic
until you broadcast on an unsecure channel. .
55. Whenever you drop your equipment in a
fire-fight, your ammo and grenades always fall
the farthest away, and your canteen always lands
at your feet. .
56. As soon as you are served hot chow in the
field, it rains. .
57. Never tell the platoon Sergeant you have
nothing to do..
58. The seriousness of a wound is inversely
proportional to the distance to the nearest form
of cover. .
59. Walking point = sniper bait. .
60. Your bivouac for the night is the spot where
got tired of marching that day. .
61. If only one solution can be found for a field
problem, then it is usually a stupid solution. .
62. Recoiless weapons aren't. .
63. Suppressive fire works on everything but the
enemy. .
64. You are not Superman, but sometimes thinking
you are will save you ***! .
65. Murphy was a grunt.
66. Staying terrified will keep you from getting scared.

[Zero Six LE]

LMAO. A lot of that stuff is true.

[JamesP]

I got one of my own...

Anytime you're looking for anything, its at the bottom of your seabag.